Yesterday I caught up with a friend of mine from a previous position. We both work for a large company and about 4 years ago our paths found us in the same department. We both left at the same time for different positions around the same time and had not made time to catch up, until yesterday. After the normal catch up about jobs, I asked her how her son was doing. She shared some details with me about her son’s difficulty in school the previous year. Then she said, “always listen to your mom gut.”
Always listen to your mom gut.
She told me that during this tough time last year, several people told her that what her son was going through was “normal” stuff and that she didn’t need to be concerned. But she knew different and didn’t listen to her gut. She was lamenting that she did not act quick enough and follow her own intuition. Often we don’t regret things we do, but things we don’t do.
Always listen to your mom gut.
November 1st has always made me a little melancholy. Growing up Halloween was almost as exciting as Christmas. Something about the day after Halloween and seeing the pumpkins and knowing it, Halloween, was over just makes my heart a little sad. The anticipation of what I was going to get to pretend to be for one night. Of course, the candy, helped, too.
My Mom made me amazing Halloween costumes, and my Dad would take me and my cousin trick or treating in what felt like the biggest subdivision in the world. We walked for miles! One of my favorite Halloween memories was dressing up a She-Ra. I wish I had a picture of that Halloween. I remember feeling that I was invincible dressed up as a superhero.
Flash-forward to today. I’m feeling the same melancholy. It is November 1st, and Halloween is over. We didn’t carve a pumpkin, and I feel good about it. We had a great Halloween, which lasted more than one night, (Trunk or Treat and a very little bit of trick or treating) but the same feeling of Halloween coming to a close weighs on me.
Lessons learned from Halloween:
- We didn’t carve a pumpkin. We did plenty of other fun activities.
- We didn’t go to a pumpkin patch. We didn’t miss it.
- My girls didn’t pick out their costumes. In fact, this may be my best parenting advice for Halloween for new parents. Don’t set the expectation that the kids can pick out what they will be for Halloween. You may disagree with me. But we do it a little different – it’s a fun time when I unbox their outfit (that I have scoured the internet to find), and they have no idea that most children pick out what they will be for Halloween.
We didn’t carve a pumpkin, and I’m ok with it.
You need the bad days to make the good days, good. This week has not been kind to my team at work. However, each of them did what they needed to get a difficult job done. I’m proud to be part of this team.
When I speak about where I work and where I work, I have such pride in my heart. I was just speaking with a friend of mine on Thursday and was telling her about this week, she stopped me mid-sentence and said, “I know, you love your job…”
Here’s out how I rebound from a bad week:
- Don’t let it bleed into another week. Know that it will end. Today is Friday. Tomorrow will be Saturday. Monday will start a new work week and one with new possibilities.
- Help others. Find a way give back. I was able to donate some pumpkins to my youngest’s kindergarten class for them to decorate. It warmed my heart and eased my mind from the problems we had this week.
- Spend time with people you care about. My family spent some quality time on Thursday night watching the Andy Griffith show (we are big fans of this show).
So many of the things that I post on social media make things appear that life is perfect. But it’s not.
However, focusing on what is good helps us stay positive and setting an example for others around us that good is the most important. When we focus on the good, we’ll see more of the good. Conversely, when we focus on the bad, that’s what we will see.
Today I was focused on how tired and spent I was. It has been a trying few weeks. Then I heard about a co-worker who had passed. She had children younger than mine.
Yesterday was not perfect.
Yesterday I was tired.
Yesterday is over.
Today was not perfect.
Today I hugged my girls a little tighter.
Today I was glad we were not perfect.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow is for the perfect.
Tomorrow always has hope.
Tomorrow I am having a few friends over. I have the day off and am going to maximize the day. Here’s what I am trying new:
–leaving the puzzle up: my family is always working a puzzle at our dining room table. I thought about moving it, but decided not to, we have been working the puzzle for more than a month. It’s what we do as a family. I am leaving the puzzle out.
–apologize: i will not apologize for anything in my home. It’s my home and I love it. We live here with two beautiful and energetic children. Our home is clean, crazy, and ours. Normally I would say something like, “sorry about the mess” etc. I love my home until someone comes over and then I start the, “I am not worthy” internal speech. Not doing it tomorrow. If you are coming to my house you are my friend and I love you enough to share my home with you. This is part of me. This is my family.
–obsess over the details: tomorrow I am going to have fun. I won’t obsess over that spot on the counter. I won’t obsess that person who may not be having fun. I won’t obsess over anything.
I am me. You are you. We aren’t people in magazines.
Imperfect is perfect.
Me: Please hurry, I have training to get to today.
Bug: What’s training?
Me: It’s where you learn, kind of like school for grown ups.
Bug: Why do you need to go?
Me: So I can learn more.
Bug: What are you learning?
Bug: What is leadership?
Me: It’s where you learn how to be a good boss.
Bug: What’s a boss.
Me: It’s kind of like your teacher at school, she’s the boss when you are in class.
Bug: Is God your boss?
That’s exactly it.
It began with not knowing what we were going to do.
So we ate breakfast in our back porch.
Had a picnic at a state park.
Nothing planned, nothing scripted, but all perfect.